an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
drinking out of a sandbucket again
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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