I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
