im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
