Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
