Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Blood and glitter go together right?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
