the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
