Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
