and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
