he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
