I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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