i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
