I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
