I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize