so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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