Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
