I'm eating all of the evidence.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize