Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
