matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
