you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
