We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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