His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
She's just so happy...and so naked.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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