addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
