No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
So squirting runs in the family.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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