my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
