i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
