i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
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