Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
