So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
