3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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