What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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