Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
