its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
