Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
