I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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