Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize