Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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