i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
