My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
