He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Also, beer. Big fan.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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