I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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