drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
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