I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
