There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
40s are totally the cure
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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