Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
