i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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