i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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