Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
he shaved USA in his pubs
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
