I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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