Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Bang-toberfest begins!!
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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