ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
