I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
