Plan B is the new Plan A
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
