O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
