It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
