Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
