I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
