Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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