i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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