I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
