I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
