How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
