she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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