I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
