tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
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