I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Randomize
