I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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