did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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