Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Randomize
