Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
