You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize